04.14.06
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday Lucas! We all miss you very much.
04.11.06
Lucas CD
Hi everyone,
As you all know, Tarlie and I have been putting together a cd in memory of Lucas. My goal is to have it finished in time for Lucas’s birthday on Friday. I am going to send them out in the next couple days. If you would like a copy of this cd you can e mail me your mailing address at laneyb123@hotmail.com or post it in the section of this website about making the cd. Also if anyone else has a song or a memory of a song that has already been mentioned then I would be more than happy to add it to the cd. Thanks so much. Sincerely, Lane Bailey
04.06.06
Birthdays – April 14
I always felt bad when Lucas’s birthday would come around because he was born one day before income tax due date. Most of the time we celebrated his birthday after the actual day.
“I’m two”
When he was very little it didn’t matter much as a Mom I could have the party most any day the family wanted it.
Lucas’s biggest party was when he was in the second grade and we had his whole STJ class out to Millbrook for a Saturday of fun. I remember having tables set up at the end of the driveway with cake and drinks and stuff….. they kids mostly just ran around the yard, played ball, jumped on the trampoline, or climbed in the tree house…. it was a fun day.
“I’m 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,….9!” because he had to sit there and count it out and then put up his fingers… the next picture is him with nine fingers up!!! I remember it that is why his face is so intent in this picture, He is counting.
We move to Montgomery the next year and I can picture Richard Whittaker, Lucas, and a coupla’ other 4th grade boys at the kitchen table with pointy birthday hats on…. well now that I have found the pictures there were two different b’days and Richard and crew did not have on the pointy hats. Tarlie, Lucas, Dad and I had on the pointy hats.
Soon the standard was Cookie Cake at school and at home for Birthday’s ….. and then a quick trip to Toy’s R ‘Us to pick out whatever he wanted for himself…. plus new summer cloths, soccer shoes, tennis shoes and so on.
In the ninth grade for some reason he wanted a real cowboy hat ( I wouldn’t let him wear his Dad’s) so in addition to the cookie cake he and I drove out to Millbrook to the Cowboy outlet there at I-65 to get his own real cowboy hat. I’m not sure when I got it back but it now lives in my closet with my hats…. it was all smooched up and wrinkled in one of his trunks and I thought I could save it for him for one day in the future….
For his Senior year I helped him book a unit at Sandpiper Cove for the Spring break trip… I know some of you remember that trip….
After that year he took to traveling for his birthday…. once to Gabe’s, and last year to Tarlie’s.
I fixed him his favorite, roast with potatoes and he came over alone because Kelley had to study. I can remember saying congratulations on making it a whole quarter of a century. He grinned and said “I can’t believe I’m 25.”
I miss you Lucas….. i think i need some cookie cake to clear up my tears.
03.20.06
A Poem
This is one of my favorite poems and I thought I would share it with all of you. To me, the poem is about self-awareness, self-discovery and honest recognition of who you are at your core.
The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
03.10.06
Lucas’s Words to Pops – March 8, 2005
Pops died on Wednesday March 2, 2005. Lucas was here on Tuesday March 1 and he saw Pops because pops had it recorded in his “book”. I didn’t see Lucas or if I did I don’t remember it. But when Pops died my brother, his wife, their three sons and wives wanted to come to Alabama for the memorial service. I asked Lucas to speak and try to relate something to his cousins that he had learned from Pops because Lucas was the grandchild that was the closest to Pops over the last few years. He wrote and spoke these words at Pops’ memorial. He was nervous I remember his voice quivering…. as mine would have when I have to speak in front of a group…. but Lucas did well and I was prould of him. Several people commented to me that he did a good job.
No One knows the ultimate meaning of Life.
But for those who are willing to believe in thier dreams, And in themselves
Life is a precious gift, in which anything is possible.
Pops lived life on his terms: he was a man of his own time.
William Jay Henry was born in Logantown Colorado on December 30, 1914 of parents William John Henry and Bertha Margaret Henry. Most of his formative years were spent at his father’s quarters in Fort McPherson Georgia. He would often tell me how he and his dad made their own beer during prohibition and he also revealed that in his younger years the real reason he played trumpet at the “west end” club in Atlanta, …free beer. Bill was an army man, it was in his blood. After graduating West Point in 1939 he eventually became a Colonel and a WWII veteran. Pops told me his greatest achievement came when he was able to win over Florence B. Carper, they married Septenber 4, 1943. Bill and Florence had somewhat of a fairytale lifestyle. They worked hard to provide for and discipline their children, however it was equally important to enjoy life in the moment. Pops loved to entertain his family and friends, while in Hawaii pops purchased the “Farida”, a 37 foot sailing ketch it was ” the fairest of them all” according to Pops. In his memoirs he describes this period of time as the climax of a lifetime. It inspires me to picture pops as a master of the seas, letting his worries sail away in the wind. After he retired in 1967 they moved to Callao, Virginia where they lived and entertained quite comfortably. They moved to Motgomery in 1984 and unfortunately Florence’s health deteriorated for many years before her death in 1986. Pops hid his pain in isloation as he fought to fulfill Florence’s last wishes. The passion Florence and Bill had for each other lives on today through Butch and Judi. I am privalged to have spent time with my grandad throughout my life, every Thanksgiving, every Christmas, Easter and my favorite the annual summer vacations to Florida. These past few years, I developed a new appreciation for pops, and how special our relationship really was. We would share drinks and stories in a way that true friends do, despite our age difference. I began to see the person Florence must have fallen in love with, as he revealed to me his true admiratin for her. His dry humor and care free attitude were complemented by an intellegence that he used to challenge those around him. William Jay Henry lived his life with grace and honor right up to his end. On March 2 2005, the aniverssary of Florence’s birthday, Pops knew his time had come as he said his final goodbye. Physically he is no longer here. However, pops’ spirit for life will forever live within me.
I often think of Pops, YaYa and Lucas spending time together these days….. i remember on Dec 30 this past year hoping they would be together in celebration of Pops’ birthday and I spoke out loud to Lucas and reminded him he should take Logan over for the celebration…. as Pops and YaYa would enjoy knowing Logan and they could all sing “the spirit in the sky” song really loud so I could hear it.
I miss you all.. Pops, mom,Frank and Lucas. I’m afraid I accepted Pops’ and YaYa deaths to easily and that may have contirbuted to Lucas’ suicide. I wish I could speak to him again in this life and persude him to not give up on himself … i love you always ….i miss you so much… mom.
02.11.06
Jogging in NYC
One of my favorite memories from when Lucas was up here the Summer of 2004 was us going jogging together. Lucas and I both liked to exercise to get stress out and just try to relax. So we kind of made a day out of it. We walked 20 blocks (which is a mile) to meet a couple of friends of mine at a place where you can sit and just order dessert. So we sat and ordered desert, Lucas ordered a big old slice of apple pie of course, and talked for a while. I remember he was ancy to get out of there because, as he told me after we left, all of the waiters (all the servers were male)were making eyes at him. I didn’t notice it all while we were there, but sure enough on our walk home from the park, I would notice men’s lingering glances towards him. He hated it! It was pretty funny. Which reminds me, can any of you recall his impression of a gay man? He did a really good one, it was hilarious.
Anyways, after the dessert place we walked about another 1/2 mile over to Central Park and by that time our desert had digested and we were ready to jog. So we jogged my normal route in the park, Lucas had never seen most of the park before and it is absolutely one of my favorite parts of the City so I made sure to point out all the things that I like about it – like the black stone jaguar that is hidden on a big rock that looks like it is going to pounce on you if you happen to notice it etc. He was genuinely impressed with the park. The nicest thing about running together was that the longer we went, the more peaceful we both felt and we would talk or just run in silence. After about 2 miles, we stopped for a breather and Lucas had to pee. We were nowhere close to a bathroom, so he goes off into a wooded part and finds a place to go. I remember how just so Lucas it was because he didn’t think twice about doing that, but I mean it’s not like we were running in Alabama, Central Park is incredibly populated. But I didn’t even think about suggesting he just hold it, because I mean this was my brother from Alabama and if anyone could get away with it, he could. Strangely, I was proud, many times I had wanted to do the same thing but had never actually done it. Anyways, nobody noticed him. Then we walked a bit and then ran another mile or so in the park and then walked home, which is another mile.
On the way home we stopped into St. Patrick’s Cathedral and did a “lap” around the inside, it is just beautiful in there and I remember how instantaneously Lucas put a serious face on and he walked around the whole place with his hands clasped in front of his chest, his alter boy days at St. Peter’s in Montgomery quite apparant. I made fun of him for it and he was just like, I don’t know, that is just how that place makes me feel. We got home and we both just felt good.
It is weird because I had run that route 50 times alone before that day, and now I can’t run it without thinking about Lucas and the time that we ran it together and how peaceful it was and, I guess how that kind of calm seemed to be pretty rare for Lucas the more I think about it and I am glad to have shared that precious day with him.
01.31.06
Making a Lucas CD
Please see the link in the Pages section (under the welcome – in the upper right hand corner of the website) about the CD that Lane and I are making for Lucas if you are interested.
01.27.06
Senior Football Season
Football is important to the Harris family. It is important to the State of Alabama. It is important to Saint James School. To say football is important to Lucas is an understatement. It was kinda’ understood that Lucas would go to Auburn when he graduated but Jerry and I tried to give him some exposure to life outside Alabama by sending him to Lawrenceville for a post graduate year of school. He went to Lawrenceville on a football “arrangement”. Jerry’s letter to Lawrenceville – February 1998- tells of the success of Lucas as a senior at Saint James in football.
“Lucas is the youngest of 4 children, and all have graduated from the same private school (K-12) with many of the same teachers. Expectations have always been extremely high for Lucas from this school because of the academic success of his siblings. His two older brothers have graduated from MIT and his sister is a junior at Vanderbilt. In short, he has had “tough acts to follow” academically. Lucas may have chosen athletics as an avenue to excel, to move past “the shadow” of his older siblings. If this was the intent, then he has certainly cast his own shadow.
His football team voted him permanent captain before the season started and they voted him the most valuable player at the end of the season. He was voted by the coaches the most valuable player in the Capital City Conference. The area coaches voted him the most valuable player in the tri-county Montgomery area. And, he was selected 2nd team All-State Linebacker. For the first time in 26 years his school (STJ) defeated every team in the conference and advanced to the 2nd round of the state playoffs with a 9-3 record. But the real success for Lucas was developing leadership skills that were evident in every game. ”
Some of my most vivid memories of Lucas are watching him on the football field. I will never forget him in the ACA game at ACA run down the scat-back for ACA from 50 yards away and pick him up by the shoulder and throw him down to the ground to keep him from scoring a go-ahead touchdown. It was the first game of the season and I know that one play set the tone of victory for that game and maybe for the whole season. Saint James was lead by Lucas that year in each and every game. His was voted by the Montgomery Quarterback club as “Private School Player of the Year”, which allowed us to meet and eat dinner with Daemon Craig quarterback from Auburn who was voted the “College Player of the Year”.
Jerry got Daemon and Lucas to pose for a picture as we left that night…. Lucas was proud of himself that night as were Jerry, I and Pops who got to go with us to receive this award.
01.24.06
Such a great guy
I was thinking this morning what a wonderful thing this site is and how it is a very true testament to what an awesome person Lucas was.
The thing that is most telling is there is such a range of people who have posted things here – not just his friends and family, but also people who only knew him for a short time, or people who started off as just a friend of his family or friends but who once they met Lucas became part of his life. Not many people I know have left such a mark on everyone they came in contact with. There is no one else I can think of that made such a strong impression on so many different people.
01.20.06
Olla Podrida 1999
The summer of 2004 when Lucas came up to NYC, he brought his Lawrenceville yearbook with him so he could have contact information to try and get in touch with some of the folks that lived up here. The two of us spent about 2 or 3 hours going through it together, I don’t think he had looked at it in a really long time, because he was laughing out loud at pictures and the senior pages. He made sure to show me a picture of Britney, Lester and De Bie and a few others. We never had really talked about L’ville that much – 9 months is a pretty short time to be somewhere. I know he had good times up there, but at the same time he really missed the South and had to endure one more year of high school rules.
Anways, he left his yearbook here so I go through it sometimes. Since he was a senior again, he got to leave his mark in this year book at well as STJ’s. I thought I would share what he wrote, even though y’all don’t know the people he is talking about, it is still nice to read something in his own words – I can definitely hear him in these.
Lawrenceville has definitely been an experience. Thank you Mom and Dad for allowing me to come to such a place. Football team: I enjoyed playing with all you guys to bad we didnit have a better season, remember FSU. It was nice to have people from other countries constantly pointing out my accent, and throwing things at my head, thank you Naseem. Devin please keep sending me those good emails, I could always count on you to make me throw-up. Connie Winant you will always be my dream girl. Chris R “Where is my gun?” Tim V, Charlie, Austin screw yall I got a test somorrow. I hope sometime soon I get to visit you Sarah W. in the delta. Quinn cheer up! Lester “wake and bake”. Tim Sullivan keep shooting that rock you can do it man. It was nice to have a friend from Alabama to laugh at all those damn Yankees, thanks Crawford War Damn Eagle. Cameron that is definitely fatty bumbatti. Brue look at my tooth it doesnit glow. Treiser you are a hell of guy who will always have my respect, good luck. Led Zepplin is pretty good, Not as good as the panic(De Bie). Hugh thanks for putting up with me on this essay. Phil Trout if you and Gillian ever break up could you put in a good word for me? Powell if the south would have won we would have had it made. Caleb and Zach go wear some ski mask. West we will meet again my friend. Seniors I will always remember this year of my life, you are always welcome to come and visit me in Dixieland. Hardly a competent workman (Chisuano you are an exception) can be found who does not devote a considerable amount of time to studying just how slowly he can work and still convince his employer that he is going at a good pace – Frederick W. Taylor. Most people think great God will come from the sky Take ev’rything, and make ev’rybody feel high. But if you know what life is worth You would look for yours on earth. And now you see the light You stand up for your right, yeah! – Bob Marley
I think that last part he used as his senior quote at STJ as well. He was also voted most unpredictable. I don’t know whether to burst into tears at that one, or just laugh.
« Previous Page — « Previous entries « Previous Page · Next Page » Next entries » — Next Page »