06.02.08
I see you in every black chevy truck
Dear Lucas,
I fear I will make people worry about my sanity but I think the only one who might read this is Tarlie now and she knows I’m insane so it does not matter any more.
So another Mother’s day has passed, and now summer is here and I still see you in birds that fly around. ..and planes that go over head, and lights that come on and off with no explanation, and smells and candles and so much stuff I must be crazy. Dustie said to me one day last year ” You need to look for signs, he is around'” and I thought if I told anyone all the signs I see I would be put away in a loony bin.
I so decided that I would only see you in Black Chevy Trucks (and not from “The University” (that can’t be you )). So my problem would be solved. I would say “Hey Lucas, I see you, I miss you, I love you” each and every time I saw a black Chevy truck and that would be ok… and not obsessive at all!! I could wave at strangers… and who cared if they saw me back.
But you know what .. I must see 50 Black Chevy Trucks every day on the way from our house to grandmother’s (which is the only place I go every day). So now I don’t know what to do about my obsession with seeing you everywhere… I guess you are there, everywhere I go. Do you see me waving? Do you wave back…?? OMG… somebody waved back for like 15 minutes behind me on Friday and I chased them around to see who they were, but of course it can’t be that simple or you would still be here for me to call on the phone or just pop in on in Millbrook.
I love you. I miss you, I really needed your help today with grandmother’s Roman Shades… why didn’t you believe in yourself… I do. Call me sometime when you have time.. come to my dreams…I really would like to communicate with you.
love as always —mom