06.02.08
I see you in every black chevy truck
Dear Lucas,
I fear I will make people worry about my sanity but I think the only one who might read this is Tarlie now and she knows I’m insane so it does not matter any more.
So another Mother’s day has passed, and now summer is here and I still see you in birds that fly around. ..and planes that go over head, and lights that come on and off with no explanation, and smells and candles and so much stuff I must be crazy. Dustie said to me one day last year ” You need to look for signs, he is around'” and I thought if I told anyone all the signs I see I would be put away in a loony bin.
I so decided that I would only see you in Black Chevy Trucks (and not from “The University” (that can’t be you )). So my problem would be solved. I would say “Hey Lucas, I see you, I miss you, I love you” each and every time I saw a black Chevy truck and that would be ok… and not obsessive at all!! I could wave at strangers… and who cared if they saw me back.
But you know what .. I must see 50 Black Chevy Trucks every day on the way from our house to grandmother’s (which is the only place I go every day). So now I don’t know what to do about my obsession with seeing you everywhere… I guess you are there, everywhere I go. Do you see me waving? Do you wave back…?? OMG… somebody waved back for like 15 minutes behind me on Friday and I chased them around to see who they were, but of course it can’t be that simple or you would still be here for me to call on the phone or just pop in on in Millbrook.
I love you. I miss you, I really needed your help today with grandmother’s Roman Shades… why didn’t you believe in yourself… I do. Call me sometime when you have time.. come to my dreams…I really would like to communicate with you.
love as always —mom
Jacob Kirkland said,
June 9, 2008 at 8:44 am
I read this at least once a week. I do not know how to post on it anymore. If someone could email me how to do that….
But anyways I really enjoyed the post… So many things have changed for me since Lucas’s death. I dream about Lucas all the time. I dream about telling him all the new changes in my life and catching him up to speed on everything. I believe when I have these dreams it really is my way of communicating with him. I am pretty close to marriage and the girl I will marry has a son and his name is Lucas. Its pretty neat. When I work in the Prattville area with work I always ride my the house in Millbrook just to ride by. I dont know why I do it but I pull up into driveway and say a little something then get back to work. Time has passed since Lucas left us all, but he will never be forgotten. I am reminded of him everyday when I see my future stepson Lucas.
I love you buddy!!!
Lee Webb said,
June 24, 2008 at 5:41 pm
I still check in periodically. I miss Lucas and think about him a lot. I am sure others do too.
Rachel said,
July 16, 2008 at 12:24 am
Judi we can be roomates at the insane asylum, but I have “Lucas moments” too.
I am sorry I have not visited this site for a while or kept in touch better, but I thought it would help me heal. I ended up traveling all over the country trying to make a fresh start, during a time when I probably needed family and friends the most. I continue to miss Lucas and always will. Many of my memories with him involved family and friends so I miss ya’ll too. Its amazing to see how he brings us all together today through this website.
Tarlie congrats – wow what a cutie pie.
miwako said,
July 19, 2008 at 2:11 am
Hi, JudiMom,
It is so hot today and I just finished my strawberry ice cream, which reminds me of Lucas a lot.
I remember there are bunch of ice cream at your house and Lucas told me that strawberry was his favorite flavor. His taste may change but 12 year old Lucas said so. Crispy Bacon with honey was also his favorite and he also baked blue berry muffin for me when two of us were at home. He is such a kind and gentle boy. I wish I could see him driving a black chevy truck.